First blog post: the trigger

FeaturedFirst blog post: the trigger

I’ve decided to pull the trigger.

Not the trigger to a gun or anything like that, just a trigger that my finger has been resting on since middle school (cliché right?).

The trigger to get something published. Fun….no, it’s horrifying. I’m the character in a horror story that’s covered in blood and I’m about to be the first one to die….. Won’t you join me?

Take my blood covered hand and let’s do this!

It’s All Relative

It’s All Relative

You ever see someone freaking out about nothing? Like spilled milk…and all you can do is watch them and hope that they see the paper towels to their right. Because all they have to do is clean it up and pour another glass of milk.

But sometimes people can’t look past the milk. They can’t see the forest for the trees and so on and so forth. Because, it’s all relative once you think about it.

pain is relative
I love this image. It speaks volumes.

Lately I’ve been dealing with some anxiety related to getting my manuscript back from an editor for an editorial evaluation for a few  reasons. One..I’m nervous because I’ve never *had* an editor go over anything I’ve ever written and I’ve heard so many horror stories. Two…some of my *worst* memories in school where I had to voluntarily give my writing over for a grade, my works would come back literally hemorrhaging red ink and that has left an *ugly* scar on my ego as far as my writing goes. The third thing is…I’m going to be on a work trip when I get the manuscript back so I won’t really have time to go over it, or be available to the editor.

I’ve just got a lot of spilled milk going on, right?

I know I do. I know what to expect (the red pen, the changes, the errors, the ravenous edits to come) but it doesn’t make it any easier…because this is my *first* time.


Just like with the spilled milk, I see the paper towels…but do you just tear off a square? Or use the whole thing to clean up the milk? What about milk residue? Does the paper towel need to be moist? What does it neeeedddd??????



My point is…it’s okay to freak out about it…or anything for that matter. And it’s *not* okay, to tell someone “oh, just get over it…it could have been worse.”

I was talking to my husband about the general anxiety I have about my work trip and about getting my manuscript back…and about all the horror stories…To which this conversation happens.

Him: Well, you know what to expect…so stop worrying about it.

Me: *eyebrow lifted* Well you know a gunshot wound is going to hurt…but that doesn’t make it hurt less does it?

Him: *nods thoughtfully like I didn’t just threaten to shoot him with a gun* Touche.

So if anything, all of this has made me stop rolling my eyes at other peoples spilled milk and start thinking about what I can do to help them move on…I’m not sure how much of this I’ll apply in my real life (because I can be a straight up bitch sometimes), but I like the change in perspective.


Anywho…what about you?

10 Seconds too Innapropriate

10 Seconds too Innapropriate

We all know *that* guy/gal…the one that is late with the punchline, the one that misses the window for a quick wit retort. Most of the time it’s harmless, and sometimes it makes the punchline even funnier or the retort hilarious…but then there are times where it’s not.

Appropriate inappropriate responses are those that happen within the 10 second mark…hell the five second mark…the ones without a beat in-between, the ones without thought and hesitation.  For an appropriate example I  will refer to a character from Cassandra Clares ‘The Mortal Instrument‘ series, Jace.

COBC&J MIThis type of appropriate inappropriate responses I can deal with, because *I* make these type of inappropriate comments *all* the time.

But I work with a guy that I just…can’t handle I guess? It’s not just that he’s slow on the uptake, but this responses are too late and timed poorly and come off just…perverted.


Scene: Lunch out for my female co-workers birthday. Boss, bosses’ son, me, and the male c0-worker in question.

Boss: So, how many cracks of the paddle should we give you this year?

Her: 24.

Me: No one paddles anymore, boss.

Bosses’ son: We just need 24 shots of tequila.

Me and Her: Yes.

Boss: I’m sure we could manage.

Me: I mean, I’m always drunk anyways. You wouldn’t know any difference.

Boss: *laughs* Little whiskey in your coffee?

Me: It’s Irish Cream and it’s more than a little.

Male Co-Worker: Should I go get the paddle?

Everyone: What?

Male Co-worker: Are you going to call him ‘daddy’.

Me: *scoots away nervously and shields other female co-worker*

That’s not even the worse…it’s just the one I remember the most clearly….because what…in…the…hell. The comment was too late to be witty which makes it border line perverted. And it’s inappropriate comments like this…10 seconds too late… that keep me from interacting with him on the regular. And believe me the times I do interact with him, they aren’t too pleasant and it leaves me not knowing how to act.

Maybe it’s just me…but….you can have all my ‘nopes’ for people who say things like this. It’s just 10 seconds too inappropriate.


“Insane City”: Another Book Review!

“Insane City”: Another Book Review!

I burned through this book in seven whole hours and found myself snickering most of the way.


4.0/5.0 stars

Published in 2013, ‘Insane City‘ is very remnant of the movie ‘The Hangover‘ (which was released in 2009). The story centers around a groom and his groomsmen (among other people) two nights before his wedding (who does that? have their bachelor/bachelorette party the *night* before??). Unlike  ‘The Hangover’ there is less groomsmen shenanigans and more groom shenanigans in which our main character Seth somehow wedges himself into a world of weird within the first 100 pages. The book also takes place in Miami and not Vegas…just in case you were wondering.


Pot brownies and orangutans, a guy with a huge boa constrictor named Blossom and Haitian refuges, a stripper that wont leave the hotel room and a bride who get’s her rich daddy to ‘take care of things’… this book has pretty much everything to make the read fast and entertaining.

Insane City is written more like a screenplay than and actual novel (the dialog is brisk and chopped at best…and there is little to no internal dialog) I would suggest it  to anyone who wants a quick and easy laugh. I don’t think you’ll be disappointed.


A Writers Thoughts: Meme Format

A Writers Thoughts: Meme Format

I’ve been having a little writers block lately, and decided to laugh myself up…I think I’ve got some severe anxiety about getting my novel back from it’s editorial evaluation….ugh feelings…gross..

Any-who, maybe this’ll make you laugh as well.


So many ideas!!!
All those ideas…turn into unfinished works.
Yea, maybe in like…a year
Especially as you are falling asleep


when you forget to outline
when you remember to outline, but it’s still trash


if I had a nickle


it’s so bad….but look at how far you’ve come!


Now get back to writing

“The Breaking Light”: A Book Beview

“The Breaking Light”: A Book Beview

“How else could star-crossed love end other than death and destruction?”

Someone finally said it.dragon_ball__four_stars_dragon_ball_by_laserjoaquin-dahti4gFour out of Five Stars!approval

51l1chynnil-_sx331_bo1204203200_That being said, I really do love ‘The Breaking Light‘ by Heather Hansen. It’s a retelling of Romeo and Juliet, but in such a way that it doesn’t get in the way of the actual plot. There *is* insta-love…because it’s a YA novel and apparently that is a MUST, but the two main characters don’t go *blind* with love like most characters – *coughZoeandXfromTheEdgeofEverythingcough* – They struggle with it, and try to deny it (at least Arden does) because family is so much more than something you can cast aside for a lusty bod and pretty eyes.

I am in love with the plot and concept of this world, because…it’s believable and to an extent justifiable. Vitamin D deficiency in the poor due to lack of sunlight. The rich capitalizing and controlling the production and distribution of Vit-D. The poor being forced down into the darkness of the city levels where they become dependent on Vit-D or the drug Shine synthesized from it by the gangs….All of this…is very real and plausible and believable.

The two main characters:

Arden; I fell in love with her almost immediately. She had some insta-love thoughts, but didn’t act on them and didn’t let it cloud her judgment. She kicked ass in the fist page and continued to through the entire book. Her duty to her family and her duty to her heart wrought a war in her psyche and that makes for some complex characterization in my opinion.

Dade; (I had to look up his name just now…how embarrassing…for him not me…) He’s the Juliet in this particular story, and it’s not him that I find particularly interesting, but those around him…and his motivations…because…why? He has a body guard Saben, who’s name I don’t have to look up and that I am *very* interested in, I want to know his backstory and how he came into Dade’s services. Clarissa; his supposed BFF and fake fiance…she’s planting tracking chips on people with power?! WHY???  And why is this rich AF teen putting his life on the line to be robin hood? I’ll give him props on not being too blinded by insta-love, but his motivations for the poor beneath him are confusing to say the least. I hope that maybe in the next books it’ll be explained.

So why not five stars instead of four? The way time moved through the novel wasn’t easy to follow. I found myself wondering more than once, what happened in between chapters…mostly because I wanted to just know more…about everything (this is first of a few other books, so I’ll take it).

The insta-love had a few eye-roll scenes…but it was made up for with the plot and the character development.

And that’s it…that’s all the negative I have to say. Which…wow. For a YA read, that’s awesome.

If you’ve read The Lunar Chronicals by Marrisa Meyers and loved it, you’ll love “The Breaking Light”.

[ON A VERY IMPORTANT SIDE NOTE!!! kudos for not putting a pretty girl wearing a mask on the cover of the book…so.many.kudos. Heather Hansen and who ever did your amazing cover art…you have my utmost respect.]

The Craigslist Kidney

The Craigslist Kidney

Sounds like something out of fiction…it probably is, but the basis is real. Not so much on Craigsli– …wait yes, I think people *actually* do this…yup…look. You can’t *sell* your kidney in the U.S. or any other organ you might have. But that’s beside the point. [And if you didn’t already gleen this from my previous post …I  work in the laboratory industry that deals with kidney donation things…so there’s that]

What I want to ask…what I’m getting at…is…if you enter the UNOS (unified network for organ sharing) pool for kidney donation…do you get to pick who the kidney goes to? Do you have a say in your *altruistic* donation?


My first and initial knee-jerk reaction is…no. If you are healthy enough, and if you want to do this, you should be willing to give it to *whom ever* the transplant coordinators and UNOS deems worthy.

And then…my thoughts expanded and I looked at all of it from the living donor’s point of view.

Living kidney donors are special. They go under the knife just like the kidney recipient. They face the same complications. They risk not waking up after surgery. They risk death. So what’s to be said when a healthy thirty something is ready to give his kidney…but the recipient is a seventy something?

A kidney that isn’t your own (transplanted) isn’t going to last forever. A patient with an organ transplant has to be on immunosuppressants FOR-EV-ER 200to keep your own body from recognizing that –“Hey this tissue isn’t my tissue…ATTACK!!”. And that’s a scary thing…because a lot of times, people don’t stick to their meds…and the general population won’t get vaccinated because they are uneducated or scared they will get sick from it.

So when you decide to be an organ donor (a living one) I think you do get a choice in where your kidney goes. Because if I’m going to fork over a kidney…I want to make sure that the person it’s going to will live for as long…or longer (hopefully) than the kidney it’s self.  Because like I said, transplanted organs don’t last forever, but your scars will.

So, if choosing to give a kidney to a teen or a young adult who has their whole life ahead of them (instead of an older recipient who’s already had a healthy life to live)  makes me…and others…a bad person…well shit.


The only time your opinion will be negligible …is when you become the deceased organ donor. Then it’s up to everyone but you. But hey…you could potentially help save up to 8 people!!

So…become an organ donor! You ain’t going to do anything with them!**




**(I am aware that certain cultures and religious views feel that a body not intact is sacrilege…I respect that. No harm no foul.)


“The Edge Of Everything”: A Book Review

“The Edge Of Everything”: A Book Review

Maybe “The Edge of Everything Including my Sanity” would have been a better title for this….train-wreak book.

I saw the posts..the hype…the amazing 4 star reviews on Goodreads [almost 5 on Barns and Nobel!]…and I was like, okay, let’s do this thing, let’s dive in.

Breezing through the summary of the book, I really *really* liked the concept. Hell has Bounty Hunters they use to collect souls of the people who ‘escape’ our social justice system…cool. I can dig that.

What I can’t dig…is whats been coined to as the ‘instalove’. At this point…I am Elsa..I am Kristoff in Frozen..I am everyone with a brain. You olive-toned-clapping-hands-signjustolive-toned-clapping-hands-sign fucking olive-toned-clapping-hands-signmet olive-toned-clapping-hands-signforolive-toned-clapping-hands-sign fucksolive-toned-clapping-hands-sign sake.


It was *hard* to get past the first one hundred pages…mind-numbingly hard. There were quotes that made my eyes roll back in my head and allowed a little parts of my soul to be carried away in the wind…I’m exaggerating about the soul bit…but c’mon. This instalove thing is overplayed and way over-rated. And that it is. The whole instalove of Twilight…the whole tortured..brooding damaged boy thing that can only be saved by a girl he just met…  I just…ugh. It’s hard to see past it.

The *only* tolerable bits where the parts where the two main characters were apart from each other…and bits of that was still hard to stomach due to the longing…and the blindness that is love. ugh.


Props to Jeff for knowing teen slang…even though it felt a bit forced. Although I’ll admit … anytime I see slang in a book I immediately compare it to Anthony Burgess’ ‘A Clockwork Orange‘ …Burgess did slang RIGHT.


Here are some of my favorite eye roll moments.127d4fae7d5294bccac4058a3fc37a7d

“She named him herself, so it felt like he belonged to her.”

Me: You don’t own anyone.

“Who was he? Why was he here? Why wouldn’t he look at her?”

Me: Because the world doesn’t revolve around your seventeen self…and aren’t you supposed to be hiding?

-Zoe couldn’t help it: She took a photo to put on instagram later…

Me: Are you serious right now? That guy killed a couple of people and is now trying to kill your effing dogs…wth.

X could have summoned her face…she was too lovely – too fierce and full of hope – for him to recover from..

Me: … words….

– …He was so transfixed by her that everything in his body just stopped…

Me: Like…everything stopped? Even your heart?

-Yet even the sound of Zoe’s breathing in the darkness captivated him.


-“And he’s so hot I can’t even,” She said. 

Me: No –

BEAR IN MIND THAT ALL OF THE ABOVE…happened in the first 100 pages. Seriously. 

-“If I do not return, it is only because not one but two world conspired to stop me.”

Me: No

-“The minute you left, I realized I loved you…”

Me: You literally met him two days ago AND he SLEPT for one of them.

-“Please tell him that I love him and that I remember every, every, every time he touched me.”

Me: What the…no…you don’t.


I wish that I could have read Jeff Giles manuscript before it got into the hands of the publishers and the editors who *probably* molded it into what they wanted it to be, something marketable to the young folk. So if you are reading this Jeff..nudge nudge.

Let’s give teenagers something better. Let’s give them friendships with boys that are mutual, and healthy, and sane. It’s no wonder they go off the deep end when their first ‘love’ breaks it off with them. I hope that maybe their can be a big shift in the publishing ‘mainstream’ marketable fiction industry so we can get away from this crap.